Battle to the Death ROUND 1

[eri]

I'm making a poll of the remaining 24 girls, mixed completely at random, for an experiment. So, I'll be making 6 random polls and I'll try to leave voting period open for a week or so.



The first round is between Takahashi and Iida. Who would survive a zombie attack. And why?

Round 1 over:

Ai Takahashi (2001-present) = 25 votes or 58.14%

Kaori Iida (1997-2005)



Round 2. In a separate thread...

There are evil space aliens that arrive on earth to kidnap, experiment on, and examine hu-mons for the plan of world domination. Who manages to evade the aliens and why?

Reina Tanaka (2003-present)

Makoto Ogawa (2001-2006)



Linlin (2007-present)

Miki Fujimoto (2003-2007)

Risa Niigaki (2001-present)

Yuko Nakazawa (1997-2000)

Ai Kago (2000-2004)

Asami Konno (2001-2006)

Rika Ishikawa (2000-2005)

Aika Mitsui (2007-present)

Natsumi Abe (1997-2004)

Koharu Kusumi (2005-2009)

Mari Yaguchi (1998-2005)

Nozomi Tsuji (2000-2004)

Eri Kamei (2003-present)

Aya Ishiguro (1997-1999)

Kei Yasuda (1998-2003)

Junjun (2007-present)

Maki Goto (1999-2002)

Sayaka Ichii (1998-2000)

Hitomi Yoshizawa (2000-2007)

Sayumi Michishige (2003-present)

[Haru]

Iida would stare them down with those big eyes of her's.

Ai would use...what, her butt?

[al kusanagi]

Ah, a subject that combines two things which I am one of the world's foremost experts: Zombies and the ladies of Hello Project!



Ai, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Poor Kaori, unless married life has changed her 100%, was nonathletic and uncoordinated, as well as inattentive.



Takahashi, on the other hand, is athletic (remember kids: cardio!), a country girl, which means she's got and edge when it comes to farm implements as improvised weaponry (remember, most martial arts weapons are variations of farming tools), and most importantly, in an extremely overlooked fact about Ai, she is a huge sci-fi, horror, fantasy and gaming nerd, meaning that should be extremely genre savvy and most likely already has zombie scenario plans in place. I know I do.

[EmEl]

I think Al has explained it well. We can't overstate the inattentiveness of Kaori.

[neshcom]

Kaori is the winner of all polls. All years. She's a bit space-y, but she can be focused when she needs to. Plus, her bad-ass guitar skills can sooth the living during the long nights.



Besides, what's Ai gonna do? Puddle all over the undead?

[eri]

See, I kind of think they are both pretty spacey. But Kaori's weirdness was equated to her contacting space aliens. Thus, I believe the space aliens would come save Kaori from the zombies.



Takahashi is sweet but I think her weirdness would amount to "Oh derp de doo, hey a zom-AAAHHHHHHH" (dead).

[al kusanagi]

Hello... Space aliens are one of the LEADING CAUSES of zombie outbreaks. If anything it means that double-crossing space cadet needs to be put down for betraying humanity.



And Ai isn't spacey. Her mouth just doesn't keep up with her brain sometimes. As for further proof, watching an old HM@ episode where she was surprised by someone jumping out at her from behind a door, her first reaction was to immediately jump backward to safety, then in less than a second she went on the offensive, attacking her cabbage-headed assailant.



In fact, I'd consider Ai to be the most qualified for dealing with the situation, with the only other possibility of Rika's latent axe-crazy homicidal tendencies coming to the surface and her getting all Ash Williams on their asses.

[Ap2000]

This absolutely clear for me, Kaori.

Takashi is a total pussy.

[freezingkiss]

I pick Kaori because simply, she seems more badass.

[Gerald]

[quote name='Al Kusanagi' post='87258' date='Nov 8 2010, 06:54 PM']Hello... Space aliens are one of the LEADING CAUSES of zombie outbreaks.[/quote]

Oh wow, now you see I never knew that, it explains so much.



Obviously Ai, Kaori might have the height and weight advantage but Ai has the speed and agility, she could take down 2 or 3 zombies while Kaori is still making contact with planet Earth.

[Special Needs Tricycle]

Kaori by far. Bitch is so basic, bland, and boring (BBB!!!) that the zombies would probably think she was an inanimate object.

[eri]

[quote name='Al Kusanagi' post='87258' date='Nov 8 2010, 11:54 AM']Takahashi is a ninja[/quote]



Damnit, I already cast my vote for the other team. I also forgot about her long hair -- easy handles for zombies to take hold of.



This is a close race. Only one can survive.

[stoveroad]

Look, we can argue about agility this and speed that all day but if you don't have the will to survive, it'll add up to nothing. The explosive temper as witnessed on many Utaban appearances shows the animal that lies within our dear Kaori Iida; an unquenchable spirit and energy only those willing to gamble can have. She may have developed a controlled and composed veneer of an adult as she grew into the role of leader, but I bet the emotional and primal Kaori is still there lurking and waiting for the opportunity to be unleashed yet again.



Ai is simply too reserved even for a life and death situation. She does get bonus points for having a man's scream though.

[Gerald]

[quote name='eri' post='87267' date='Nov 8 2010, 07:56 PM']I also forgot about her long hair -- easy handles for zombies to take hold of.[/quote]

You don't know much about fighting zombies do you?



She would plait razor blades into her coiffure and then (all together now) WHIP HER HAIR BACK AND FORTH.

[EmEl]

[quote name='Peking Duck' post='87269' date='Nov 8 2010, 02:20 PM']The explosive temper as witnessed on many Utaban appearances shows the animal that lies within our dear Kaori Iida



...



Ai is simply too reserved even for a life and death situation. She does get bonus points for having a man's scream though.[/quote]

That kind of emotion will get you killed on the battlefield, soldier! Give me the reserved girl to not panic.

[Melon]

Ai!



Kaori is too uncoordinated to survive long. Plus, Ai is a current member of MM and thus has some form of strength and cardio, while Kaori has been out of the game. Agility and speed matter when surviving an outbreak (To get a little geeky, both Zombieland and The Zombie Survival Guide both reference being in top shape as the first key to survival). While Kaori may make the better leader of a group, individually she won't make it as far.



All those voting Kaori would simply perish in the event of a zombie outbreak because they don't understand how to survive... <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... stling.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rimshot:' />





AWWHELL LET'S GO AND PULL THE TOP TEN RULES OFF OF BROOK'S SITE:



Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack



1. Organize before they rise! - Ai is still a member of H!P. What is Kaori doing again?

2. They feel no fear, why should you? - Girl is fierce. Kaori is housewife. Psch, no contest.

3. Use your head: cut off theirs. - You need strength to do so and as an active member she'd have more strength than Kaori. Hell, I'll go as far to say that she had more than Kaori even when both were active members of H!P.

4. Blades don’t need reloading. - Girl had a fucking amazing swordfight in musical. Sure it was fake, but she could always apply some lessons to life. What has Kaori done with deadly weapons again?

5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair. - Okay, so she doesn't have short hair anymore. But she's had it short before, which means she won't have any problems chopping it off unlike some other chicks who've had long hair their entire lives and end up having nervous breakdowns if it's cut short. Kaori has done this as well, which makes this round a draw.

6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it. - Kaori couldn't GET UP the staircase, girl so clumsy.

7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike. - Again, cardio that has Kaori beat. Girl be wheezing along while Ai is a mile away.

8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert! - Both can be pretty quiet and both are pretty spacy, but since Ai is more so, I'll give this round to Kaori.

9. No place is safe, only safer. - Nothing really to battle here.

10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on. - Kaori may have Ai beat here, since I'd imagine she'd celebrate her victory. But Ai has quick reaction time, so I'd name this a draw.



A Winnar is Ai.

[al kusanagi]

As for the hair, it has been well documented that Ai is more than willing to shave her head, so without UFA riding her shit to look so conventionally pretty all the time, she'd take a razor and buzz that shit in the face of a zombie apocalypse.



Again, people are drinking the kool aid that UFA puts out there about Ai being some prim, proper, shy young lady and can't see her true, badass, slightly off-kilter self.

[Shoujo Q]

I voted for Takahashi. That girl can whip her hair back and forth plus probably drop kick you while doing so. That's an instant win. Kaori may have the stare of death, but that's not going to stop a zombie, especially since they are already dead. <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rimshot:' />

[tsukinobyouin]

Takahashi would have the sense to run man-screaming, and thus survive longer. Kaori would probably try to talk to the zombies, or as was previously stated, space out and not realize her brains were being eaten.

[Tsujiji]

I voted for Tak~ If she can tenure Mo-musu for almost 10 years, I think she'd be able to survive in a post apocalyptic setting.

[Arichii]

[quote name='Usako' post='87297' date='Nov 8 2010, 08:50 PM']I voted for Tak~ If she can tenure Mo-musu for almost 10 years, I think she'd be able to survive in a post apocalyptic setting.[/quote]



This~ My reasonings exactly <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... /smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rimshot:' />

[Trunks01]

Kaori for sure! She will confuse all of them thinking she's already a zombie!

[momoirosaya]

I voted Ai-chan! For all the reasons listed above.

[mrsross]

[quote name='neshcom' post='87255' date='Nov 8 2010, 07:38 PM']Kaori is the winner of all polls. All years. She's a bit space-y, but she can be focused when she needs to. Plus, her bad-ass guitar skills can sooth the living during the long nights.



Besides, what's Ai gonna do? Puddle all over the undead?[/quote]



She will bore them all.

[Gerald]

Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time on this BBS and then I get involved in something like this and I know the answer. Shit, this stuff is IMPORTANT.

[Melon]

[quote name='Trunks01' post='87303' date='Nov 8 2010, 09:21 PM']Kaori for sure! She will confuse all of them thinking she's already a zombie![/quote]



Zombies do not operate on "confusion". They operate on "I'mgonnaeatsomefarkingbrains". Acting like a zombie only makes you a real zombie.



[quote name='The Turtle Moves' post='87316' date='Nov 9 2010, 06:29 AM']Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time on this BBS and then I get involved in something like this and I know the answer. Shit, this stuff is IMPORTANT.[/quote]



I agree. Best topic evarrrrrrrrr

[eri]

This stuff IS IMPORTANT.



I closed the poll because enough people replied for us to see that clearly, Takahashi would beat the zombies.



edit: Oh boo! I thought I could just keep editing the poll. It won't let me reset it for round 2. I guess we'll just need a new thread.