Countess LuAnn - Money Can't Buy You Class

[neshcom]

(source and download if you so want)







If you're a giant Real Housewivesfag like I am, you know LuAnn (from the New York show) recorded a single. This is hot off the heels from her divorce with her Count husband. She can keep the Countess title, but apparently she couldn't keep the dignity. LuAnn is known on the show for going by the nickname "Countess" and looking down on others who don't show class and prestige or act classy and prestigious. The episode(s?) of Real Housewives detailing her lead-up to the single have yet to be shown, but we have seen snippets from season previews.



The release of this single is reminiscent of Kim Zolciak's (of Atlanta fame) "Tardy for the Party" who wrote/co-wrote and recorded "Tardy..." on the show.



Oh my god, I can't stop listening to this song and yet...I just want to rip my endocrine system ear drums out of my body. She has no sense of timing, even for a half-spoken word dance track and T-Pain is down in Hotlanta RIGHT THIS INSTANT screaming, "DAMN NIGGA THA'S A LOT O' AUTOTUUUUuuuuUUUNE <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... >/note.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />" You don't need to be a Housewives fan to appreciate how a) terribly executed this song is and <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... >/cool.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':sideways:' /> much exposure JPopYuna could get IF SOMEONE WOULD JUST GIVE HER A CHAAANCE.

[Ap2000]

This is the worst "music" I heard in a long time.

I don't know why you made this thread, except for shock or disgust value maybe...



Oh, and as always; anything involving auto-tune that is not in some very good, and thus makes me forget it's actually used, electro song is absolute utter shit.

[Special Needs Tricycle]

Did she record in that corset too? She sounds like she's dying when she breathes in between lines. Don't compare this bitch to Jpopyuna.

[neshcom]

[quote name='Ap2000' post='79229' date='Apr 26 2010, 07:12 PM']I don't know why you made this thread, except for shock or disgust value maybe...[/quote]

Yup.



[quote name='Special Needs Tricycle' post='79230' date='Apr 26 2010, 07:49 PM']Don't compare this bitch to Jpopyuna.[/quote]

Look, I'm just saying, if Countess of Crackerjacks here can put out a single JPY can easily get an album deal.

[Special Needs Tricycle]

THE LAST THING I NEED IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW IS FOR MY IDOL JPOPYUNA TO SELL OUT AND BE CORRUPTED WITH MAINSTREAM PRODUCING TECHNIQUES OKAY!!!!

[JPope]

Because nothing says "class" like a satin, push-up corset.

[Farrah]

Not really any worse than a lot of shit Japan churns out every year. I am enjoying the Ami Suzuki-level of autotune here, it's so shameless.

[Special Needs Tricycle]

[quote name='Ang' post='79241' date='Apr 27 2010, 05:01 AM']Not really any worse than a lot of shit Japan churns out every year. I am enjoying the Ami Suzuki-level of autotune here, it's so shameless.[/quote]

Uhhhhh, yes it is? I'm sure there are songs that sink this low, but most of the BAD idol songs I've listened to don't even come close to this. I understand you have a burning hatred for the Japanese music industry and idols for some reason, but you honestly can't think that a song quickly shat out by someone who is 100% musically clueless for a reality show is on the same level as a lot of Japan's music. Half of the song is her giving a speech and the chorus is just one take copied and pasted it over and over. It doesn't even try to hide the fact that she's horrible. They just slapped autotune over it to at least give it some sense of being an actual complete song. I know that musical talent isn't exactly a huge factor of making it in the Japanese music industry, "a lot" of Japan's music is not as bad as this.

[tsukinobyouin]

[quote name='Special Needs Tricycle' post='79245' date='Apr 27 2010, 07:35 AM'][quote name='Ang' post='79241' date='Apr 27 2010, 05:01 AM']Not really any worse than a lot of shit Japan churns out every year. I am enjoying the Ami Suzuki-level of autotune here, it's so shameless.[/quote]

Uhhhhh, yes it is? I'm sure there are songs that sink this low, most of the BAD idol songs I've listened to don't even come close to this. I understand you have a burning hatred for the Japanese music industry and idols for some reason, but you honestly can't think that a song quickly shat out by someone who is 100% musically clueless for a reality show is on the same level as a lot of Japan's music. Half of the song is her giving a speech and the chorus is just one take copied and pasted it over and over. It doesn't even try to hide the fact that she's horrible. They just slapped autotune over it to at least give it some sense of being an actual complete song. I know that musical talent isn't exactly a huge factor of making it in the Japanese music industry, "a lot" of Japan's music is not as bad as this.

[/quote]



This. I can't even really name a song from any country that compares to this, save for maybe the one put out by the other "Real Housewife," or that William Hung cover of She Bangs. Even they tried a little harder. <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... /laugh.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />



That being said, this is hilarious and I imagine that's exactly why the producers behind this went through with it.

[fpd]

Hooooooooooly shit this is the most terrible shit I've ever heard.

[neshcom]

In similar news, Kim Zolciak's "Tardy For The Party" got a remix release (iTunes) few months back. I mean one remix in four flavors. Released on the upcoming label Ferosh Records. That's right, THE Ferosh Records.

[Farrah]

[quote name='Special Needs Tricycle' post='79245' date='Apr 27 2010, 07:35 AM'][quote name='Ang' post='79241' date='Apr 27 2010, 05:01 AM']Not really any worse than a lot of shit Japan churns out every year. I am enjoying the Ami Suzuki-level of autotune here, it's so shameless.[/quote]

Uhhhhh, yes it is? I'm sure there are songs that sink this low, but most of the BAD idol songs I've listened to don't even come close to this. I understand you have a burning hatred for the Japanese music industry and idols for some reason, but you honestly can't think that a song quickly shat out by someone who is 100% musically clueless for a reality show is on the same level as a lot of Japan's music. Half of the song is her giving a speech and the chorus is just one take copied and pasted it over and over. It doesn't even try to hide the fact that she's horrible. They just slapped autotune over it to at least give it some sense of being an actual complete song. I know that musical talent isn't exactly a huge factor of making it in the Japanese music industry, "a lot" of Japan's music is not as bad as this.

[/quote]

Honestly, I've heard some stuff from little no name pop artists that are of a comparable level of fail to this, though I can't think of any off the top of my head. I'm not talking big name artists, since this woman isn't a big name artist - she's a reality tv star who a lot of people probably haven't even heard of. Comparably, there are variety tv idols in Japan who end up singing a song or two that only sells like, 200 copies, because it's just a watered down version of every other pop song in Japan at that moment. And if I had a burning hatred for the Japanese music industry, I wouldn't listen to Japanese music <img src='http://mm-bbs.org/public/style_emoticon ... tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> Freaking, like, idk, Sweden probably churns out a lot of eurobeat, autotuned to death, melody-free shit this bad every year too. Sucky music is international, I guess. It's not usually the big name stuff, but the generic sucky stuff made to rip off the big name artists - such as this song which is basically a watered down, buttraped version of every other song on the radio in America right now.



Basically... people should stick to their day job, I guess.

[Special Needs Tricycle]

I guess I misinterpreted it then. I certainly wouldn't consider niche underground pop artists as "a lot" of what the whole country does. Honestly the only thing I can think of that even comes close to this is the Cruel Angels single, and even then, I find this to be a lot worse.

[Cyrene]

Kind of a random question but...



Is JpopYuna the same Yuna that was dating Zappy-dog or whatever his name was back in the day on the old board?





(Btw, this song sucks and is HILARIOUS!)

[tsukinobyouin]

No, JpopYuna is this youtube superstar.

[Ap2000]

[quote name='TnB' post='79308' date='Apr 29 2010, 03:02 PM']No, JpopYuna is this youtube superstar.[/quote]



"Total Upload Views: 108,464"



AHHHHHHHHH, why ??

That's way too much for her.

[Sabaku Ika]

I think I hate you a little bit now for introducing me to this.

[neshcom]

Heads up Bravofags/Housewivefags, in an interview released today, tonights episode is where we see LuAnn recording the song! The show's on Bravo at 10p and reruns at 1130p (after Watch What Happens Live). Maybe next week? :\ Also, big catfight between Jill and Alex tonight!

[neshcom]

I've just got to double bump. Just got to.



Countess LuTrann will be debuting her second single live in two weeks on Bravo's little rinky-dink live show. It will be a "spoken word rap."



WATCH OUT JAPAN. EREGANSU IZU LAANDO IS COMING YOUR WAY SO SOON.

[Special Needs Tricycle]

[quote name='neshcom' post='79328' date='Apr 29 2010, 11:24 PM']Countess LuTrann will be debuting her second single live in two weeks on Bravo's little rinky-dink live show. It will be a "spoken word rap."[/quote]

So it's going to be the exact same thing as the first single?

[Melon]

[quote name='neshcom' post='79328' date='Apr 29 2010, 10:24 PM']Countess LuTrann will be debuting her second single live in two weeks on Bravo's little rinky-dink live show. It will be a "spoken word rap."[/quote]



I read that as "spoken word TRAP" and thought, "Well, she does look like she could be packing..."

[writerserenyty]

Oh. God. The. Terrible.

[neshcom]

Tonight is Money Can't Buy You Dignity Night! At 10p, the show finally shows LuAnn's recording of the song (along with a funny little date betwixted LuAnn and a funny little gay man) and then at 11p, her new single "Chic C'est La Vie" will premiere on Watch What Happens Live (in some capacity). [edit] This is on Bravo. Or, in Australia, Opera (right? Is it still Opera?)[/edit]



Check it out. It should be a rip-snortin' hootananny of a goo' ol' t'me.

[neshcom]

Oh. Gad.



So, Chic C'est La Vie is EXACTLY the same as Money Can't Buy You Class, just with less singing. Seriously, the backing is damn near exactly the same. If you missed the performance, you missed how absolutely chintzy WWHL is. I'll post a video when I find one.



LuAnn also dropped a big bombshell. She got a record deal with Ultra Records. That's right, the label behind Kaskade, Deadmau5, Dave Aude, and David Guetta has picked up LuTrann.

[cromartiedropout]

Jesus not even the autotune can keep her on pitch. And who the hell wrote these lyrics? I'm usually not one to rag on bad lyrics, but seriously these are worse than educational kids songs - she actually used pinash.

[neshcom]

Chic C'est La Vie (now in Boobvision ?!?)

[neshcom]

YOU THOUGHT THIS THREAD WAS OVER? THAT IT WOULD END WITHOUT THE FINAL TIPPING POINT? GET A GOOD LOOK ULTRA RECORDS. THAT'S WHAT YOU SIGNED. DAMMIT ULTRA YOU PULLED THE VIDEO -FFFUUU SUCK IT ULTRA. Gawker re-hosted the video on the blog post.